Life is moving forwards and coming back. We can cope with this life now and as a unit Thom and I are doing this. He's thriving at school and I'm working well now at home balancing all that comes with being a single parent and working full time and having pets. It's full on but still I find time to ride and get out. You'd think it would be a positive thing and yes of course it is but it also just makes me miss Claire more. Grief is still there..it hasn't gone and now I know it never really will. Last week I could feel an acceptance of it all going on and these past 2 days have been full of tears again. Some days and weeks are easier and some are just like she died yesterday. They still shock when they hit but on the whole I'm starting to manage it better. I've always been an emotional guy and this is no exception. It's 27 months today since Claire died. This morning I cried as it dawned on me again that it actually happened and that she won't ever come back....that is so tough to even comprehend. 27 months after losing your wife, best friend, mum to your child and inspiration isn't long and it's still early days so this is the way it'll be for a while yet I'm sure. 2017 has some exciting plans already in it and life is coming back. I don't feel like I'm avoiding stuff now by being busy or getting into relationships and I'm feeling all that I need to. Life coming back is a scary thing as it feels longer since I saw and felt Claire next to me and it means we are getting used to this life without her. It's still unbelievable that's she's gone sometimes. We're living fully and I am becoming a person who I wouldn't of otherwise of become if it hadn't of happened and I got pushed into this life. Aspects of it I love and enjoy but again that's hard as it feels it should be Claire doing these things if things were different. People I've met and places I've been and experiences all different from what may of been before. It's still a mind bender and I guess it always will be.
